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Wed, May. 13th, 2009, 07:35 pm
San Fransicso!!!

Today I got a phone call from an internship I applied for a couple of months ago and they offered me the position!
It's a wig/makeup internship at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco. It begins in September and runs through June.
I am SOOOO excited and relieved. It's nice to know what I'll be doing for the next year. It's also wierd that I JUST moved home a few weeks ago and am going to me moving again in a few months. There were 30 applicants and I friggin got it!! Makeup internships are super hard to get, in my searches I found 5 in the country... Im ridiculously stoked.

Sat, Feb. 7th, 2009, 12:06 am
Writer's Block: Conchordance

Who is cuter: Bret or Jemaine?

Jemaine hands down. We're married in my brain.

Wed, Jan. 28th, 2009, 11:57 pm

I am home for 5 days. While I love being home, the circumstances are less than desirable.
My grandpa Jerry passed away on Friday. He was sick with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's for the past 4 years. He was also in a wheelchair. On Wed. they found he had a tumor in his liver and one on his chest wall. The funeral was today. It was insanely hard. I know he didnt want to live like he was (he told us on a couple occasions) and that hes in a better place right now, but it still really saddens me to think that his last years were spend the way they were. I try not to remember him like that.
It was hard today. I always feel like I have to be strong for other people. I cried a little, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. My grandma was trying so hard to be strong for everyone, she also promised my grandpa she would never cry at his funeral. I still sort of have a problem with open caskets. It just seemed so surreal to have what looked like a sculpture of my grandpa lying in the room with everyone... I don't know. I guess I just have a lot of mixed feelings about everything. Suffice it to say, I will miss him terribly and love him with all my heart.
I also got some not so sad news today. Tim called about 30 minutes ago and told me they are releasing him for house arrest tomorrow morning. This means I will get to spend time with him before I leave on Sunday (and have sex for the 1st time in 10 months!!)Yay! I am so excited to just be able to sit there and hold him for as long as I want without someone watching our every move. It's going to be amazing. Tomorrow morning!!!
So my emotions are everywhere right now. I'm sad, grieving, excited, and nervous. Not to mention I have a super craptastic head cold....
This broad is a mess.

Sat, Dec. 27th, 2008, 05:39 pm
Year end survey

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Moved to another country.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I kind of did, maybe. Yes I have a lot for next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? not that I recall

4. Did anyone close to you die? no thank god.

5. What countries did you visit? Canada

6. What would you like to have had in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Stability.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 23rd, it's when Teemo left.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Moving to Canada and starting school without knowing anyone. The ability to be alone.

9. What was your biggest failure? My inability to be happy alone.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? not anything severe.

11. What were the best things you bought? Punim, clearly!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? A lot of people

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Who the hell knows.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My dog coming home.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? "In a Big Country" by Big Country

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? way sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? a little thinner
iii. richer or poorer? way poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? had sex and saved money

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? crying

20. How will you be spending Christmas? all over the place.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008? bleh.

23. How many one-night stands? none, amazingly.

24. What was your favorite TV program? The Office

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yeah, I met a lot of new people...it was bound to happen.

26. What was the best book you read? Elvis and Me

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? The Knife

28. What did you want and get? my all A's in school

29. What did you want and not get? my Teemo back with me.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Sex and the City.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Turned 24, went out to dinner then dancing with a bunch of friends, drowned my sorrows in beer and puked the whole drive home.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Teemo with me.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Gawdy gold jewelery with EVERYTHING!

34. What kept you sane? Punim and Tim's phone calls.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Cillian Murphy...always

36. What political issue stirred you the most? bleh

37. Who did you miss? Tim every single day.

38. Who was the best new person you met? Theres a few people in school.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: Be grateful for what you have, you never know when it will be gone.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "why are you so far away from me?"

Wed, Aug. 13th, 2008, 11:15 am

Sarah gave me "M." If you want to play, comment and I'll give you a letter. Then, list 10 things you love in YOUR journal.

1. Monkey!!! (Punim's nick name)

2. Moving (hah, total sarcasm!!)
3. My Teemo (i think using "my" is totally cheating...but oh freaking well)
4. Makeup
5. Musical Theatre
6. Mom
7. Mugatu

8. Michael Scott

9. "My Life on the D list"

10. Mail (receiving it)

Tue, Jul. 29th, 2008, 02:00 pm
Writer's Block: In the Event of a Zombie Emergency

Are you prepared for a zombie outbreak, or are you just going to wing it?

Absolutely...I've read the Zombie survival guide, I have my plan.

Thu, May. 22nd, 2008, 09:00 pm

I am SOOOOO mad about the season finale of Ugly Betty. What a friggin tease!

Wed, May. 21st, 2008, 03:32 pm

I just had a wart frozen at the doctors. It's the only one I've ever had and I've had i for like a year or so. I figured makeup artist + gross hand = bad.
But fuck...that shit really hurts!!! I hope it at least works.

Fri, May. 9th, 2008, 10:21 pm

I miss Teemo so bad it hurts.
I keep getting invited out to do things but just can't seem to get motivated.
Last time I went out (last friday) I spent the last 30 mins at the club in a corner crying. I don't want to bum people out.
I feel like all I want to do is sit home and be sad.
fuck...I can't wait to move.

Sun, Apr. 27th, 2008, 04:45 pm

Life has been extremely hard lately.
On Wednesday Tim has his trial for the DUI he got back in June. It went really really badly.
His lawyer had told us that there was a 40% chance that he would get house arrest for a year and a 50% chance he would get work release (prison in a dorm type setting where you can still go to work) for 3 months and serve the rest of the year on house arrest, and a slim chance he'd get 6 months work release and 6 months house arrest.
Unfortunately that's not what happened. Long story short, he was sentenced to 8 months in Bucks County Prison, followed by 2 months work release, and then 2 months house arrest. I was totally shocked and devastated. They took him right from the court.
I was a mess, could not stop crying, couldn't eat, and definitely couldn't sleep.
Thursday I went to visit Tim in the afternoon it was odd. I talked to one girl there who's boyfriend had been in there for 5 years. She said she had gained over 60lbs since he's been there and that "all the girlfriends gain weight". I cried the whole visit. Seeing Teemo behind glass was not easy.Then came home and cried some more, and drank, and didn't eat, took nyquil and fell asleep for 3 hours.
Friday I went to see him again in the morning. Cried the whole visit, then sat around and cried all day. Was supposed to go out with Shari, but just ended up crying
Yesterday was my first non crying visit. We got to laugh about things. It was nice. I was really motivated when I left. I did all the errands I needed to do and went and joined a gym. Then that night when I was supposed to go out, I was having trouble with the dog and just got totally overwhelmed and collapsed on the floor crying and could not stop. I ended up making myself go out anyway and had a decent time. I tried to eat last night but only got through 1/4 of a wrap before feeling sick.
This morning I went to visit again (the prison is 5 mins from home) told him I don't know how I'm going to do this without him. He does so much around here. Trying to do it all is overwhelming especially when I'm so sad and feel like doing nothing.
Tim is being totally amazing through all this. I don't know how he's not a mess. He is so strong. I am really worried about him in there, and I miss him more than I could possibly express.
He says he's fine, just bored. He is mostly worried about how I am coping. He's so encouraging every time I see him. He tells me I can do this and to better myself while he's there, so it will be easier for us when he gets done.
So that's what I'm attempting to do. Today after the visit, I went to the gym for a while. Changed the water in my fish bowls (this is way more tedious than it sounds) Then I spent 4 hours cleaning the house that has suffered while my clean freak boyfriend has been gone. I'm really trying to keep busy and stay motivated. As long as I'm doing something I can't stop and think. I know I'll probably get sad later tonight.
There are no visits at the prison on Mondays and Tuesdays, that's going to be really hard and I'm going to try and stay busy. But I know I'll break down at some point.
I'm so used to having him here to talk to, to hold me, to help me etc. It's a super hard adjustment. I've been writing him whenever I feel like I need to talk to him, but its just not the same obviously.
In September I'm planning on going to school, most likely in Toronto, but maybe LA.
The program is 8 months long, so by the time I am done, Teemo will be done all his crap and we can work on getting our lives going.
I know in the long run, 10 months isn't that long and I know we'll get through this. But it just seems like a very very long time right now. Especially the 8 months that I can't even hug him or hold his hand.
For now I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I suppose that's all I can really do.

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